a journey

As mentioned in my last post, I was drifting in and out of sleep on my bus ride home from the retreat. That statement was actually foreshadowing a 4 day fever that would start just hours after returning home from camp. I had all these grand plans for my time at home before moving up to school but instead, most of my time was spent sleeping, drinking liquids from a straw, trying to accommodate my freezing cold and suddenly blazing hot body, and watching Harry Potter movies. When my fever didn't go away after 3 days, I went to the doctor and finally got antibiotics. Praise Jesus for his common grace to doctors and pharmacists for things like pills that make you magically functional again.

All week long, I was waiting for a phone call from VLB to let me know whether I had received a job offer. It was pretty hard to wait considering the hustle and bustle of my last week of work. One thing I really appreciated was being able to pray with my two best friends from high school about this final outcome of the summer. I had no other choice but to be confidently assured that whatever happened was completely in God's hands and He would use this opportunity to clearly reveal the direction He desired for my life. Finally, it was Friday and I got the call... and the job offer!! Wow - praise the Lord for He is good. It took a week or so after that for it to really sink in and for me to think about all the amazing implications of that phone call. No recruiting for a full-time job this fall, no more suits or high heels for an entire year, no cover letter writing, no career fairs... It wasn't even September of my senior year and the Lord had provided me a job in an awful economy - and not just any job, the most ideal job opportunity that I never could have pictured when I started college. I am genuinely overwhelmed with thankfulness every time the reality of my life at this point in time sinks in. The verse that comes to my mind regarding this is James 1:17, "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights..." I have been given so much... thank you, Jesus.

Before I knew it, it was already time to pack up my stuff for college. It was sad to leave my family but at the same time, I was really eager to meet my new roommates and move into my new place (stay tuned for the story of how this housing situation fell into place - it is yet another testimony of the goodness of our Lord). In short: Since all the details of my housing situation had been initiated and finalized while I was in NYC for the summer, I had yet to see my house and meet my roommates in person.

The last few weeks have been a crazy whirlwind. School is well underway, college football has started, Ignite has a new director (more on that later as well), and I recently accepted my job offer at VLB. I am so excited to soak up my last year in college and experience all the amazing things God has for me this year - I will definitely keep you all posted =]

Labels: faith, life, work

Well it's been quite a while since I blogged but that definitely hasn't been because I've lacked things to talk about. I would love to summarize my last few weeks at VLB.

First of all, I spent many of my working hours preparing for the group final presentation we gave to senior management at the beginning of our last week of work. Our group worked incredibly hard trying to research, organize, prepare Powerpoint slides (which is much, much, much more time consuming that you may think!), and practice in front of people at the firm who have helped us along. I'm actually still a little bit amazed at the incredible amount of work I did for simply 6 minutes worth of presentation material. The result was fantastic. Our group received really positive feedback and I left the firm at the end of the week on a very high note. My manager told me several times how pleased he has been with my work and how much the team has appreciated my being there for the summer.

Because my work load decreased dramatically after the presentation, I had some time to reflect on whether I could see myself there full time. The answer is a resounding "yes" - I would love to be there - and I have a few reasons why:

1. In order to prepare for our presentation, I along with my group ended up conducting over 20 "interviews" with professionals across the firm to get their insight into certain topics. I spoke with people at all levels and across many groups and I can confidently say that I didn't have a negative encounter with anyone. Everyone I spoke with, even at the managing director level, was willing to sit with me and answer any questions I had. If that is truly the culture, which I have every reason to believe that it is, I love, love, love it.

2. It was never a burden to get out of bed and head to work in the morning. Well, the 'getting up' part was a bit challenging when I wasn't in bed early, but the 'going to work' part was always a joy. There were very few days that went by that I didn't learn something and I loved that opportunity.

3. I had the best manager in the world. I found out later he actually requested to have an intern this summer and he intentionally committed to developing me professionally and encouraging me to reach beyond what I thought I was capable of. He alone would have given me the best impression of VLB.

I find out very soon if VLB will present me with a full time offer into quite an amazing training program. Whether I get an offer or not, I want to say that this internship has surpassed my expectations and I have loved everyday of it. I worked as hard as I could, I met and built relationships with amazing people that I'll never forget, I left the best impression I could, and I have absolutely no regrets. The decision is out of my hands and regardless of what it turns out to be, I'm so thankful for all that the Lord let me learn and experience this summer. Praise be to Him who has led me to this point - I have every reason to believe in His faithfulness to continue to direct my life according to His perfect will for me.

Labels: life, work

This past weekend marked the halfway point of my internship and so much has happened since my last post. I'll attempt to recap the highlights:

1. Mid-summer review at VLB
On Tuesday of July 4th week, my manager and I sat down with a guy from HR to do a mid-summer evaluation. My manager, being my manager, had actually sat me down the day before my official evaluation to tell me exactly what he thought I was doing well and how I could improve. I was a little nervous that he was going to come down hard on me but instead, he had a lot of good, positive feedback for me and even put a good spin on what I could improve on. I know that he likes me a lot and appreciates my efforts and work ethic so far. His positive affirmation is comforting since I have felt the freedom to be myself at work and not put up a front to look like some kind of arrogant hot shot or something. My manager did encourage me to be even more assertive, ask even more questions, and stick my nose into even more things that are going on around me. In all seriousness, he told me to ask a ton of questions because this is the one time in my career that I can be stupid and get away with it. Personally, I think that is best career advice I've heard so far. I'm thankful everyday for how much my manager supports me and encourages me.

2. July 4th Party
I had my first and only 3 day weekend of the summer and it was sooo nice. A short week and an extra day on the weekend makes such a difference! It actually wasn't too eventful aside from our 4th of July plans. Daniel's roommate's girlfriend, Carly, and her roommates hosted a little party/get-together at their apartment, complete with a pot-luck dinner and 2 kind of sangaria. I didn't know that many people there but it was fun to listen to Texas country and meet some new faces (who were mostly from Texas) and talk about life in NYC. Later on in the evening, we headed over to the Hudson to watch the fireworks show. Apparently, a planned arrival at 8 pm was way too late for a 9:30 show because the whole street all along the Hudson was packed with people - some of whom looked like they had been there for several hours. Our group of about 12 people followed a crowd of other people who were trying to make their way onto a hill in a construction zone. People were scaling a fence to get to the hill and others tried to get around it by stepping around the corner, which was about 15 feet above ground, and crawling along the fence a few feet to get to solid ground. We were among the latter group. Almost as soon as we got to the top of the hill with the rest of the masses and got excited about our view, several men with badges and flashlights came and told everyone that we needed to leave because we were trespassing. It was equally difficult to get down the hill and out of the zone as it was to get up. I felt like I was rock-climbing in a sundress and flip flops and despite Daniel's assistance, my ankle was slightly bruised by a rock that fell on it when I slipped and slid down the hill about a foot or so. By the time we made our way out of the zone, Daniel and I had basically lost the rest of the group and more police cars had showed up to make people leave. In the end, Daniel and I ended up watching the show from the street through the chain link fence surrounding the construction zone. Even so, I enjoyed the show and now have a crazy story to tell if people ever ask about my first Independence Day in NYC.





3. Brooklyn Pizza Party
Last Sunday night after church, I somehow got ropped into some plans to go all the way to Brooklyn to eat at this famous pizza place under the Booklyn bridge. I was really uncertain at first because it was far away from home and I always get nervous about the prospect of not getting enough sleep for work. However, I'm really glad I went because it ended up being a rather large group of people - about 15 or so - and I got to meet some friends of people in my summer intern community group who were visiting NYC for the weekend. We actually ended up eating at a different pizza place because the one we had originally planned on had a 1.5 hours wait (on a Sunday night!!). Even so, I had some great conversations on the train ride into Brooklyn and I really appreciated that time to just hang out and have fun with my new friends who I treasure so much. I hope to have more face time with them before they have to leave NYC at the end of the month :/

4. Intern Happy Hour
Last week, I decided that I was not getting enough face time with the other 14 interns in our division. So, after discussing things with another intern who lives in my building, I decided to take things into my own hands by inviting all 14 of them to brewery a few blocks away from work. In my mind, a coffee shop could have done the trick but here, you have to consider that New Yorkers only like to socialize over beer. I was a little surprised over the positive feedback I got leading up to the end of day. Some of the other interns were really excited about hanging out, all were appreciative that I took the initiative to plan it and the ones who couldn't make it urged me to plan another one. Out of 15 interns, almost half showed up and my sweet boyfriend also made his way to the bar to meet some of the people I've been spending time with this summer. I was glad for the opportunity to learn about some of the projects they've been working on becuase it seems like all of our experiences are vastly different from each other's.



5. Final presentation update
Like I mentioned earlier, I have to do a group presentation to our division's senior managment with 3 other interns on a pre-determined topic. I wouldn't say I'm nervous yet but I have to admit I'm a little anxious. Our topic is extremely broad and vague at the same time and somehow we have to narrow all the material that's out there down to a 20-25 minute presentation. Not only that, but our team has to know enough about the topics we discuss to endure a 10 minute Q&A session where the senior managers will probably grill us to death. Last week, my team made good progress by interviewing about 8 people from different areas within our division to get a sense of the current financial and political landscape. Even so, the narrowing down process has been the hardest part since it seems like everyone has a different idea about what's important (depending on their background or day-to-day activities). I'm hoping we can make good progress this week.

6. Red Cat Date Night
Wow, this title sounds really spicy =]. Daniel made dinner reservations for us at this amazing restaurant in Chelsea called the Red Cat. It was a really neat looking restaurant and had hints of red scattered in various places. I had a really cool looking (and tasting) zucchini appetizer with a nice piece of salmon as an entree. I'm not very good at ingredients but they did such a great job with mixing flavors to create picture perfect dishes. It was so tasty but more than that, I was so glad for the opportunity to catch up with Daniel and exchange stories about work and friends and life. It's so strange to think that we are both working on Wall Street and for the first time in 2 years, I am finally starting to understand things about Daniel's life here I just couldn't grasp before. I know what it feels like to work 11 hour days (not good), to never feel like you have enough of an evening before another day starts, and to look forward to the weekends in such a different way than in college.





7. Day Trip to the Beach
On Saturday, Daniel planned a little getaway for us - a day trip to the beach! We woke up early in the morning and met at the train station to take an early morning train to one of the Jersey beaches. I was wide awake on the way up but Daniel definitely wasn't.



The train ride was pretty long (about 1.5 hours), Daniel was trying to sleep, so I got a little bored. So, I snapped a few pictures. Maybe I snapped too many because Daniel wasn't having fun anymore. This next pic made us both laugh aloud for awhile:



When we actually got there, the beach was so much fun and soooo relaxing. We spent the whole morning just laying out, talking, and listening to the sound of the waves. It felt so good to feel the sun like a blanket - the morning was exactly what I'd been looking forward to all winter.



After a few hours of doing basically nothing, Daniel and I ate lunch outside a nice little Japanese restaurant. We had a delicious sushi roll as an appetizer and then stuffed ourselves with a meal of chicken, fried rice, and noodles.



After lunch, we went back to the beach and found a spot to lay our towels. By that point, the beach had gotten pretty crowded with families so it wasn't quite as nice and relaxing but I still appreciated our time. From the few 'tools' we had collected during the day, we attempted to make a sand castle which required several trips to the chilly ocean for water. It ended up looking more like a sand city since we didn't have anything bigger than a cup, and we completed it with shells and gummy bears on top. It was fun to get our hands dirty and play with the clay like sand.





In the late afternoon, a storm started to blow in so we escaped New Jersey a little early for a night out in Manhattan. It was a short trip but I really was thankful for a day with no agenda or schedule and an opportunity to spend time with my best friend.

Labels: life, work

It's hard to believe I've been in New York for nearly 6 weeks already. Lots and lots of people have asked me how my internship is going, what I think about the City, and if I could see myself moving back here after I graduate. Since I am nearly midway through my internship, I'd like to think that I'm starting to have some solid answers to those questions but the truth is I really have no idea. Parts of my internship are so great - more than I could have asked for - but other parts could be better. There are many things I love about the City but there are also things I really don't like at all. I could definitely see myself in the City long term but it's easy to say that during the summertime, when I know I'll be gone way before the awful, cold, dreary, windy, frigid winter. But can I say that because my personality is very adaptable or because I really am drawn to this place?

I think it's pretty pointless for me to even think about answering some of those questions until I know whether VLB will offer me a job or not - this one detail will certainly change a lot of things. That detail is a story in itself though. This past week, all the interns in our division were split into groups of 4-5 and were assigned a prompt that we have to research and prepare a formal presentation on, which we will present to several managing directors and other high up people at the end of the summer. I've been told that this presentation is weighted heavily in discussions for full time offers so of course, I'm already nervous about it and it's over a month away. Even though I'm at a bank with a much more easy going, laid back culture than some, it's still competitive and it's so easy to get carried away with a "do-whatever-it-takes-to-impress-people," "stand-out-above-the-rest" and "network-with-as-many-people-as-possible" kind of attitude. It's even easier to forget that God's soveriengty and His promises to work for the good of those who love Him are just as true now, in the midst of competition and uncertainty, as they always were. It's a challenge for me to focus my heart on resting in Him versus thinking about what more I can do at work.

So, I've been pondering what the long term could look like and am trying to stay grounded and trust that God knows exactly what He's doing with me at every step, even when it's difficult for me to see or understand.

Labels: faith, life, work

Another great week has come and gone. Work still hasn't picked up too much so my days are still mostly spent going in and out of meetings, getting to know my team, and working on small assignments here and there for my manager and group members. There have been a few points where I've actually felt bored for 20 minutes so it's my goal to figure out how to most effectively engage myself in those moments.

I attended several guest speaker events this week where I had the opportunity learn about the work experiences and perspective of senior level management:

1. Lunch & Learn with a Credit Risk officer
One of the guys who came to my school to interview me for my position this summer spoke to all the interns in our divisions on Tuesday about credit risk and about the ways VLB has been affected and how the financial landscape is changing because of the credit crisis. He was great - I appreciated him for the simple terms he used to describe things and for sharing relevant, useful, and interesting information in such an engaging way.
2. Firm-wide intern event with one of the global head's of VLB
My internship program has these mandatory speaker series events where Very Important People come to explain their particular division or role and offer career advice to us. The guy that spoke on Tuesday evening was a pretty good speaker but I think a lot of us got the sense that he really wasn't too interested in being there. Even so, there were several overzealous kids during the Q&A time who were trying to out due each other with sophisticated questions. When the Q&A time was nearly over, the speaker looked at the facilitator and asked, "Am I good [to go]?" Yeah, not such an impressive attitude in my opinion.
3. Women on Wall Street panel of Managing Directors
On Wednesday after work, a few of the other girl interns and I attended this firm-wide, women's event where 4 successful, female managing directors held a Q&A time to share their experiences and offer advice to any woman who aspires to reach
a similar level "success" in the business world. Even though I'm still trying to figure out if this type of career path is what I even want, it was very interesting to hear their perspective and learn how they got to where they are today. They had some great stories - one of them told us that earlier in her career, she dramatically packed her desk up and walked out of the office when her manager didn't promote her with the rest of her class, made up of all males. I felt like their advice and encouragement was useful since they've all been through so much - both good and bad - and have come out on the other end.

Aside from work, things have been going really great. On Thursday night, Daniel took me out on a dinner date to a fabulous, Food network-featured, Indian restaurant called Tabla. It was SOOO good! We had a 3 course meal and every course was absolute perfection - from the combination of flavors to the spices used to the food placement on the plate. I don't know if I've ever had such a perfect meal. The service was great as well - the waiter actually brought us a 3rd dessert that we had been debating over, just so we could try it! Daniel and I both felt very spoiled by it all. I am so thankful for Daniel's desire for me to know and appreciate all the great things that NYC has to offer!

This past weekend was so much fun too. On Friday evening, Daniel met me downtown and we spent a few hours hanging out in a fun area of town called South Street Seaport while we waited for the rain to stop. On Saturday, I went running in Central Park with one of my new friends in our community group. It was tough (since exercise has not been the biggest priority here) but it was our excuse to enjoy a tasty burger and chips with Daniel at a great outdoor restaurant that overlooks the Hudson afterward! Later on, Daniel and I took advantage of our down time and went to see "The Proposal" in Lincoln Center. Even though it wasn't that realistic, I thought it was very cute and the actors were great! When nighttime came, Daniel and I met his roommate and girlfriend in an area called "The Village" which is known for its restaurants, bars, and nightlife. The 4 of us enjoyed a drink at a small, dimly lit lounge and it was a great time to see them and catch up. While I'm thinking about it, I have to mention that one thing that really sets New York apart is the ridiculously close association between "fun" and "drinking." When people here think about having a good time, it almost always involves drinking in some capacity. Everywhere else, drinking is 'an option' but in New York, it's 'THE option.' This mentality is difficult for me to get used to, mainly because it's hard for me to understand, but I hope that God will show me how to relate to people here through their perceptions of drinking, not just around it or in spite of it.

On Sunday, I met a few of the other VLB interns at the Met museum. Honestly, I am not a museum person at all. In fact, I find them pretty boring and they put me to sleep. But, I figured it would be a good opportunity for me to get to know some of the interns - especially since I'd have such little interest in the artifacts around me. One of the girls I got to talk with told me that she moved to the US from Turkey for her undergrad and is now about to start her 2nd year of grad school. I was reminded of one of my missionary friends who just finished her first year ministering college students in Turkey. How crazy is it that we're doing the same thing thousands of miles apart! Anyway, this girl I met is not the first I've talked to this summer who has picked up everything, left family and friends, and come to a foreign land, knowing there was more hope and opportunity here than in their home country. I am so impressed and don't know if I could do it. I'm eager to dig a little deeper into these incredible stories.

I'll leave you with a few more valuable life lessons from my time here:

1. Pantyhose and velcro are not friends
2. If you want to be successful in business, use key phrases like "I'd be happy to do that,"I'll reach out to _____ [for that answer]", and "per our conversation..."
3. Practice makes perfect - except when it comes to ironing button down shirts
4. People are happier on Fridays

Labels: life, work

Week 2 has come and gone and it's already the start of week 3! I cannot believe how fast time is flying - it's almost July already! I knew this summer would go by fast but this is ridiculous. I'm definitely getting more comfortable around my team at work and have very little inhibition when it comes to chatting with them about their weekends, asking questions, and asking them for stuff to do. Everyone is noticeably older than me (the youngest one may be between 28-30. Okay, maybe that's not too old) but I still feel like I can relate to them well (some more than others) and I am blessed by how friendly and accepting they are of me.

My actual work flow has slowed down a bit since the first week. I haven't attended as many meetings and although my manager still takes time to teach me and explain concepts, he is asking me more and more to consult the other team members to help with any projects they have on their plates. I don't mind this but I just wish my team would actually have stuff to give me when I ask. It's one of those things where they mean well but they get to be so busy that it would take more time to explain how to do something and answer my questions, than if they were to just do it themselves.

Because of this, I've decided that I need to be more proactive in emailing others in different groups within the firm and plan meetings or lunch. It's important to me (and my manager) to learn as much as possible from other people and get the best insight and perspective about VLB as possible before the summer is over. That's a whole lot easier said than done though. My biggest inhibition, by far, is that I'll go to the trouble to meet with somebody that's way smarter than me only to understand a mere 15-20% of what they actually tell me. I wish I were more confident in myself that I can still hold an intelligent conversation with someone, even if I understand very little of what they tell me. Plus, there's a good chance I'll understand more than 20%... maybe??

This past week also marked the start of growing friendships. It was week 2 of our little summer intern community group that Daniel had a vision for back in April and May. After getting the blessing from a pastor at church, Daniel shared this vision with me when I first moved to NYC and we decided to go for it - see if students interning here for the summer were interested in studying the Bible and living life together in the City. Very quickly and easily, God brought 5 girls and 1 guy into our lives who are thirsty for community and the Word of God. Daniel has graciously hosted the group both weeks in a conference room at his office in midtown and our meetings have been the highlight of all of our weeks. We adore Daniel as our leader for his wisdom, exhortation, and testimonies which has affirmed all of us that we are in NYC for a purpose that is greater than we know. It's been so beautiful to talk about Jesus right in the middle of a City - in the middle of a building - that so desperately needs Him.

Funny enough, all of us go to school in Texas and 4 of the 5 girls plus the guy are all from the same school and are great friends. They are all wonderfully accepting, kind, genuine and so, so joyful. It usually takes me some time to warm up to people but I can honestly say that I love these people already. I admire their character and the way they long to know Jesus more. Without a doubt, this summer is the start of some beautiful friendships. I'm excited that we will get to learn from each other all summer long through our weekly meetings.

Lastly, I have decided this summer, I am going to practice the Sabbath. I've never made a good effort to do this before but after some emotional ups and downs last week (and the fact that I don't have to study for tests!!!), I decided that I need an evening to myself and to be alone with the Lord. I need time to pray and let my thoughts run without interruption. I need time that I don't feel guilty about NOT being with someone else, whether that's Daniel or church friends, or people from work. I've designated Mondays nights as my Sabbath and am excited for what God has to show me through it.

Labels: life, work

Just to make sure everyone is on the same page: I was offered a summer internship position at a very large bank back in March. From this point on, I'll refer to them as VLB (Very Large Bank). By very large, I mean that this bank has a very strong global presence and I was privileged enough to be placed in their New York City office, which is by far their largest office in the U.S. It was my only offer but it was by far my best offer and I know without a doubt that the only reason I am only here because it was the Lord's good, pleasing, and perfect will for me to be here. I am fully confident that He has ordained this time for me and I am so grateful.

I just finished my first official week of work and I am getting ready to start week 2 tomorrow. Monday and Tuesday were training days for all the interns, regardless of which division we were placed in. I made a point to introduce myself to as many people as possible and among other things, remember their names. It's been great to hear about their backgrounds and where they are coming from, as well as realize that despite that, we all have so much in common in regard to work this summer - same anxieties, same expectations (or lack thereof), same questions. It's been easy to relate so far and I'm enjoying all the new faces and new stories.

Wednesday was my first real day of work and it has been a crazy whirlwind ever since but I am loving it so far. It turns out, I was placed into the Equities Compliance division of VLB and the specific team I will be working with is kind of like an advisory group. Because they handle a lot of real time questions from traders, they have to be pretty close to the action. In fact, they actually sit on the trading floor and because my manager is kind of awesome (more on him later), I will actually be sitting on the trading floor at my manager's desk with my team as much as possible (my manger has a separate office on another floor as well). Isn't that Crazy??? In case you don't know too much about the financial services industry, a summer intern working on the trading floor is crazy talk.

Like I said, my manager is awesome. He multi-tasks like no one I've ever seen and he has this naturally kind of restless nature. He always seems to be in a bit of a hurry (in fact, I find myself all but running after him through the office) and he's great at thinking on his feet and making his perspective known in a group of people. He's like a Type A cubed. At the same time, he is incredible patient in teaching and mentoring me and he fully and actively supports me getting the absolute most out of my internship experience. In fact, he actually told me that his door is always open to me and that I am here to bug him and make my presence known - he actually expects face-to-face interaction with me on a daily basis. What a unique opportunity I have been blessed with! I can't describe how wonderful it is to know that someone in his position, with his industry knowledge and esteemed reputation is on my side - pushing me to learn and grow as much as possible.

As a result, he has asked me to join him in most of the meetings he had scheduled last week and usually introduces me as "a member of his team" vs. just "a summer intern." He has also taken time out on several occasions to explain everything from the premise of upcoming meetings to important concepts that were discussed within the meeting to the way certain projects the team is working on fit into the overall picture of what the Compliance group of VLB. I was given a few small assignments here and there but most of my time so far has been spent shadowing my manager and other members of my group through their meetings and commitments, getting a few for the culture of VLB, and trying to understand the nature and responsibilities of the Equities Compliance group.

Since I am now a working woman, here are just a few lessons I've learned so far regarding full time work at a global bank:

1. If you go to bed early enough, it is possible to wake up before 6:30 AM.

2. The ability to actively listen and think during meetings is way more important than I realized. I need work on this.

3. The best way to remember Indian people's names is to associate it with an object that sounds somewhat similar to their name.

4. Managing directors, VP's, supervisors, CEO's, etc are just everyday people.

5. 8 hours of work goes by way faster than I thought it was going to.

6. The 4 hours in between work and sleep goes by way, way, way (way, way) faster than I thought it was going to.

Labels: life, work