Wednesday, October 7, 2009
serving in an eternal kingdom
I was walking home from class just now, reflecting on all this trouble I've gone through the last few days to line up my OU weekend plans exactly how I want them to go. I really wanted 2 tickets, at face value, and was relying on a friend of my brother's to make it happen. However, things fell through and I was left sorely disappointed. I set my expectations higher than they should have been and started trying to control all these different aspects. So naturally, when things didn't go my way, I was way more upset than I should have been.
Before Mike called me to tell me the bad news, I had been doing my quiet time, reflecting on the last half of John 18 where Jesus tells Pilate that His kingdom is not of this world. Through my meditation, God convicted me of how much of my time that I, as a servant of His eternal Kingdom, spend doing things to build my own kingdom - choosing my own agenda over things that my Master may be asking me to do or guiding me towards. I actually wrote in my journal, "What kind of servant is it who says to his master, 'I'll get to your stuff later, I'm kinda busy right now..." Any servant who demonstrated this attitude consistantly would be kicked out!
So what do I do after this wonderful revelation, but get upset to the point of tears over circumstances that I tried to control but didn't go my way. After my initial bout of disappointment, I started to ask myself why I wanted to go to the game and sit with certain people so badly. Well, because it's my senior year and I wanted to add this to my repitoire of amazing experiences that I can look back on and potentially brag about to myself or others (i.e. look at how much fun I had in college/what a committed college football fan I am/how awesome my experiences were, etc). I realized that building a kingdom doesn't just involve money and power, I also think it has a lot to do with pursuing enriching experiences for yourself at the expense of others and ultimately, looking out for your own interests, regardless of what it will take to get there and who gets inconvenienced in the process. It's not that desiring fulfilling experiences is bad or ungodly in and of itself, only when the motivation for doing it stems from pride and/or self-centeredness.
The next questions for me became, "Where are the eternal implications in this cicumstance? Where am I overlooking an opportunity to build Jesus' Kingdom instead of my own?" I know one thing: In general, attending a football game when I was 21 will not make a difference in eternity. But, what could make a difference is affirming my brother in the way he loved me well and sacrificed to try and get me 2 tickets. It could be in trusting and rejoicing in the fact that Lord has a different (and always better!) plan in mind for me to soak up the weekend. It could be demonstrating to the world that I am content, no matter the circumstances, because through Jesus, I have been given everything. Maybe that's what Paul means when he says to "Set your eyes on the things above, not on the things that are on the earth."
Jesus, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Teach me to be a faithful servant to You and You alone. Amen.
Before Mike called me to tell me the bad news, I had been doing my quiet time, reflecting on the last half of John 18 where Jesus tells Pilate that His kingdom is not of this world. Through my meditation, God convicted me of how much of my time that I, as a servant of His eternal Kingdom, spend doing things to build my own kingdom - choosing my own agenda over things that my Master may be asking me to do or guiding me towards. I actually wrote in my journal, "What kind of servant is it who says to his master, 'I'll get to your stuff later, I'm kinda busy right now..." Any servant who demonstrated this attitude consistantly would be kicked out!
So what do I do after this wonderful revelation, but get upset to the point of tears over circumstances that I tried to control but didn't go my way. After my initial bout of disappointment, I started to ask myself why I wanted to go to the game and sit with certain people so badly. Well, because it's my senior year and I wanted to add this to my repitoire of amazing experiences that I can look back on and potentially brag about to myself or others (i.e. look at how much fun I had in college/what a committed college football fan I am/how awesome my experiences were, etc). I realized that building a kingdom doesn't just involve money and power, I also think it has a lot to do with pursuing enriching experiences for yourself at the expense of others and ultimately, looking out for your own interests, regardless of what it will take to get there and who gets inconvenienced in the process. It's not that desiring fulfilling experiences is bad or ungodly in and of itself, only when the motivation for doing it stems from pride and/or self-centeredness.
The next questions for me became, "Where are the eternal implications in this cicumstance? Where am I overlooking an opportunity to build Jesus' Kingdom instead of my own?" I know one thing: In general, attending a football game when I was 21 will not make a difference in eternity. But, what could make a difference is affirming my brother in the way he loved me well and sacrificed to try and get me 2 tickets. It could be in trusting and rejoicing in the fact that Lord has a different (and always better!) plan in mind for me to soak up the weekend. It could be demonstrating to the world that I am content, no matter the circumstances, because through Jesus, I have been given everything. Maybe that's what Paul means when he says to "Set your eyes on the things above, not on the things that are on the earth."
Jesus, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Teach me to be a faithful servant to You and You alone. Amen.
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