a journey

In exactly one week, I will be in Corpus Christi with the youth group, speaking to about 60 senior high kids and parents about obedience and how obedience to God’s will leads to intimacy with Him. I guess I can’t consider it ironic then that the last several days have been full of spiritual warfare as I examine and combat my own pride and rebellion. In several recent instances, the opposition between my flesh and the Spirit in me has broken me to the point of tears. I very much relate to Paul who says, “I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members” (Romans 7:21-23). On top of this struggle, I often allow condemnation to set in when I recognize my failure to live up to my Spirit-revealed convictions. In short, the last few days have left me spiritually and emotionally exhausted. Maybe it’s not all the work of the enemy, though. Maybe some of it is God testing me and my own conviction to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer. Maybe this is His way of humbling me and removing any arrogance that would be present as I stand before those senior high kids next week. Whatever the case, it’s been difficult to find joy in my present circumstances. It’s much easier to simply look forward to the day when I can move back up to my beloved college town and “escape” from these issues that seem to magnify when I’m here at home. However, I am thoroughly convinced that a temporary escape is not an option as I sincerely desire spiritual growth and sanctification. So, in light of the Truth that my God bestows unfailing love and restoration, I take hope in His promise to perfect the good work He started in me (Phil 1:6).

When clouds vein sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful
Ever True
You I know
You never let go
You never let go

Labels: faith

# posted by Kelly @ 8:49 PM